How Do You Talk to a Friend About Suicide?
If you notice some of the warning signs in a friend, talk to them. Whether you go to them, or they start the conversation with you, here are some helpful tips.
Listen – first and foremost – without judgment and with an open mind.
Don’t dismiss or minimize your friend’s stress, loss or experience. If it’s important to them, it’s important. Feelings aren’t wrong. They just are what they are, and need to be acknowledged and listened to.
Let them know you care, that they matter to you and you want to support them in any way you can.
Ask about suicide directly if you suspect your friend is thinking about it. People do not become more suicidal by talking about it and suicide is not an idea you can plant in someone’s head. It’s more likely that your friend will be relieved to be able to talk about how they feel and what they’re going through. Use clear language like “are you thinking about suicide?” or “have things gotten so bad that you’re thinking of killing yourself?”
Get help. If a friend tells to you that they are feeling suicidal, you may feel pressure to keep it a secret. This is one secret that you must not keep. Tell a trusted adult like a teacher, coach, guidance counselor or parent – no matter what time of the day or night it is. It is better to risk your friend being upset with you than risk losing them to suicide. For guidance, you can also call the Youth Services Bureau of Ottawa 27/7 crisis line: 613.260.2360, 1.877.377.7775 (toll free for Eastern Ontario), ysb.ca.
If there is an immediate danger call 911. Don’t take a chance when a life is at risk
